Fear

So, I'm only doing this because this blog is anonymous. If I find out it's not I'm deleting this. Let me just say, I don't have a word processor on my laptop, and I don't trust writing on paper. Hence the anonymous blog. :)
I've always preferred saying things out loud, because then the words vanish. There's never any proof of them. You can never prove that the words were said at a particular time in a particular place by anybody. This was true only before the invention of voice recording. But it's okay because sound recording isn't all the time.
The problem with writing things down is that once it's written, it's permanent. It'll always be there. For everyone to see. Always.
I believe that whatever you write, however random you may think it is, is like a mini portal into your soul. It's like you're giving whoever reads it a chance to look right into you. A chance to know every little thing about you. You're letting yourself be exposed.
That scares me. I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking. I don't like people knowing what I feel. I don't like people knowing what can break me. I don't like being vulnerable. Period.
Basically, my biggest fear : Vulnerability.

It's kind of ironic, my fear keeps me from letting people know the very basic fact that I HAVE a fear.